Sunday, October 28, 2007

Ummm...no thank you!

I am preparing to travel to the "land of milk and honey" (aka The United States) and in Burkina nothing is predictable...so, before I go and bathe myself in chocolate, sushi, Jamba Juice, Starbucks, pizza, and anyother food related delicacy, I will share my last crazy moment...something I am certain does not happen often, if at all, in the States.

I am walking from Marina Market (our "grocery store"). I am accustomed to being hassled by the random "faux types" that hang out there, and the homeless man that follow me...so this was no different. This guy follows beside me for about a 20 minute walk. He is babbling in French something about how Americans are Africans, we are all the same blood...my mom is his mom, and his dad is my dad...and that if I just gave him some money he could buy something to do something (he was not talking coherently...and my French isn't that good). I get to a street corner and he is still babbling and following, and I am trying to just ignore him and hail a cab. Of course, the one time I need one no one comes! So I walk to a further street corner to see if I will have better luck. I am standing there, and at this point I don't hear him so I am hoping he just slunk away. Suddenly, a pigeon flies (or drops) down dead about 2 feet from me. It twitches a couple times...then goes limp. I turn around to see my trusty friend--slingshot in hand--trotting over to claim his newly acquired prize...yummy. Now, I can handle a lot, but this just about crossed my gross out threshhold. He picks up the pigeon, whose poor head is bobbing around like a bobble-head doll, and he proceeds to attempt to stuff it in my bag. OH YES! I kid you not! My hands aren't free because they are full of bags so I try to run away. I keep refusing his "generous cadeau" as he calls it. At this point I am scared he is going to throw it at me. All of the Burkinabè look on in amusement...huh, I am glad someone is enjoying this. Then he walks away...YES, I'm free...wait, NO I'm not. He finds a clear plastic sachet and stuffs the dead bird into it...oh my gosh, is he really going to try and give it to me again or throw it at me? I freak out and start power walking across the busy street. It is like a scene from "Dodgeball"...except luckily I didn't get hit. A cab finally turns and stops right as the man is approaching me. He is holding out the bag yelling--"Mon cherie, c'est un cadeau pour vous. Vien prendre et manger! Mon cherie!" AAAAHHHH...I hope in and don't even ask where he is going, and nor do I care...I want outtie from this psycho.

Anyhoo, everyone in the car gets a nice laugh at the crazy man trying to give me that bird...and one man asks me why I didn't take it...he would have eaten it for dinner if I hadn't. Yeah...Only In Burkina (OIB).

Stay safe...and see you in 3 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Revenge on the Paris Starbuck's will be mine. With a 13-hour layover in Paris I will not be denied my Tall Skim Caramel Macchiatto...VINDICATION! Operation GSCMBSKS (see May 2007 entry) lives again!

1 comment:

NanettePC said...

oh my gosh steph!! this is AWESOME!!! i can just picture you freaking out. i would have paid good money to see that! this is so hilarious!!
i hope you made it back ok. i miss you girl.